Lauren Denton
Raise your hand if you know what the Enneagram is. Raise your other hand if you know your Enneagram number. (If you had a third, I’d ask you to raise it if you’re more sure of your spouse’s number than you are your own. I may or may not be raising my hand.)
The Enneagram, at the most basic level, is a system that uses different personality types to help people understand themselves and the people around them. As I understand it, one of the most important aspects of the Enneagram is the motivation — two different people may display the same behavior, but they do that behavior for different reasons, depending on their Enneagram number.
I first heard the term “Enneagram” sometime after my friends Holly and Anna and I became a trio. Our conversations frequently included phrases like “her two wing was talking” or “my eightness made me do it.” When I was clueless, they directed me to “The Road Back to You” by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. That helped explain those clever little turns of phrase, but I didn’t get very far in the personality pegging, so I left the book on my bookshelf.
A couple years later, I cracked the book open again after hearing authors talk about how they never begin writing a new story without first knowing their characters’ Enneagram numbers. I skimmed through the book, making notes about what my new character might do in certain situations. But alas, just like last time, I didn’t get very far.
I’ve recently given it a third try, not because I feel left out or need help writing a book, but rather because I’m finally seeing how it could be a real help when it comes to understanding the people I love. Not to mention myself.
I’ll be the first to say I’m an extremely flawed human. I say the wrong things, do the wrong things, act in ways that even I think are ridiculous, but I never stopped to think about why I do what I do.
I’ll admit, I’m having a little trouble figuring out which Enneagram number I fit into. To go a step further, I’m finding it easier to type the people around me than myself! That’s probably not all that uncommon. After all, isn’t it easier to see the speck in someone else’s eye than the log in our own?
At the end of the day, I really just want to love my people well, see them for who they are and have the grace to give them what they need. If the Enneagram can give me any helping hand at that task, I’ll take it. And if it helps me write a better book, then I’ll take that too.
When I’m not writing about my family and our various shenanigans, I write novels and go to the grocery store. You can find my books in stores, online, and locally at Little Professor Bookshop. You can reach me by email at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks or Facebook ~LaurenKDentonAuthor.
