Lauren Denton
Here’s a thing. When I’m playing tennis and having an off day, when I dink my backhands into the net and my forehands go wide and deep, I still have so much fun. I love playing tennis.
It’s the great surprise of my young middle age, (After turning 44 in May, I guess I have to say I’m firmly in middle age now.) I’ve had moments on the court, even when playing a league match, where the sky is bright blue, the sun is shining, there’s a breeze and I think, “What a privilege to be playing tennis today. What an absolute delight.” And if I dink those balls into the net, it’s so easy to remind myself, “It’s fine. It’s all practice. Tomorrow’s another day.”
When I started playing tennis late last year, I remember Stephanie, director of the Homewood Tennis Club, saying, “I bet playing tennis will make you a better writer.” I still don’t know if that’s true, but I do know it’s making me think a lot about my writing “game.” Because here’s a second thing: In my writing career thus far, I haven’t been all that nice to myself while I’m doing the actual work of writing.
When I’m having an off day, when the words don’t come, when everything sounds stilted and awkward, I don’t act as I do on the tennis court. I don’t think, “What a delight to be writing a story. What a privilege.” I don’t shake off a less-than-stellar writing session and think, “It’s fine. It’s all practice. Tomorrow’s another day.” Instead, it’s an overwhelming sense that tomorrow, and the next day, and every day that I sit down to write will feel exactly as it does in this moment — awkward, stilted, stuck. It’s not, “This is going to be a bad book.” Instead, it’s, “I cannot write this book. I can’t do it.”
I’ve recently started working on a novel again after taking a good, long break from writing, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that tennis came back into my life during that break. Because now, when I sit down to write, I hear a different script playing in my mind. I’m not saying it’s Steph’s voice I hear in my head … but I’m also not saying it’s not. I’ll explain.
When I played tennis as a kid, I remember backhands always being tricky for me. Maybe it was the way I held my racket, maybe it was my stance, who knows? But it’s still a little tricky for me now, and often when I hit backhands, I hear Steph shout from across the court, “Lauren, relax! Relax your shoulders. Relax your tight grip.”
I tend to hold everything tight — my shoulders, my arms, my hands. And it doesn’t take much of a deep dive to deduce that I go through much of life like that, too — perhaps especially in my writing life. When I write myself into a tight spot, when I’ve strayed from the purpose of a scene, when my characters are trying too hard, it’s usually because I’m writing with clenched, panicked fists, trying to avoid that scary “I can’t do this” feeling.
And in my regular life? That tightness shows when I find myself stressed over my kids’ grades or the dog-hair-to-kitchen-floor ratio or the overfull days in my weekly planner. Lauren, relax that tight grip.
Another bit of advice (or maybe a reprimand?) Stephanie has called out from across the net: “Don’t be cautious!” In this case, on one particular day, one of us ladies on the court had chosen not to run down a ball that seemed too hard to get. Steph’s words pushed us to give it a shot. Not to put the brakes on before giving ourselves a chance to try. And again, tennis advice extends to both writing and life. When I’m tempted to say no to an opportunity because I think it sounds too hard or too out of my league, when I don’t push myself in a particular area because I’m scared I can’t do it, when I hold back on writing about a particular topic or type of character out of fear that I’m not a good enough writer to pull it off, I hear Steph’s words: Don’t be cautious!
So now, yes, I talk to myself while writing. Sometimes out loud. (It’s a good thing no one but my dog is around when I write.) Often it’s Steph’s voice I hear, but I’m starting to hear my own mixed in there, too: It’s fine. It’s all practice. Tomorrow’s another day.
When I’m not writing about my family and our various shenanigans, I write novels and go to the grocery store. You can find my books in stores, online, and locally at Little Professor Bookshop. You can reach me by email at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks or Facebook ~LaurenKDentonAuthor.
