There is a particular author who has unwittingly become a not-insignificant part of my own writing career, but not for a good reason. This author — I’ll call her “Beth Davis” — snuck into my life via Twitter, her social media platform of choice.
She posts multiple times a day, and what struck me about her from the very beginning wasn’t just the fact that she’d written more than 20 novels, or the fact that she started her own boutique publishing company (and continues to write her own books), or the fact that she has gorgeous hair (which she does). What made the biggest impact on me was seeing posts like this nearly every day:
“Woke up at 5, cranked out 4K words, made a green smoothie, and had just enough time to make whole-grain, gluten-free chocolate muffins for the kids!”
Or this: “Got a mani-pedi, grabbed a coffee, did a little shopping, and still squeezed in 3K words before the end of the day!”
On and on these posts come, word counts climbing higher and higher, multiple books releasing each year and all of it done with glossy, perfect hair and pearly pink fingernails, big cozy sweatshirts and leggings, while sitting on her beautiful back porch overlooking trees that look like they were painted by Thomas Kinkade.
Now, I know I’m being ridiculous. I know that what I see on social media isn’t the truth — it’s a stylized, curated, filtered approximation of real life. But still, there’s something about this author that makes everything I do feel less. Less real, somehow. Less important. Less significant.
I hear myself think, “If I could just buckle down like Beth, I’d be able to crank out big word counts each day.” Or “What am I missing out on that’s helping her do 20 things at once and do them all so darn well?” Sometimes I think, “Maybe it’s the hair. It must be the hair.”
Without realizing it, Beth became my nemesis and I didn’t even know the poor woman. I even told my counselor, Michele, about her one day. (OK, I’ve told Michele about her many times.) “Beth is so accomplished and hits or exceeds her word count every day. She doesn’t appear to ever have a day when things are falling apart, whether it’s staring at the computer for hours and not being able to get a single string of good words on the page or being late to pick up kids from school because of said word paralysis. And the worst part is she just seems so happy about it all! She delights in everything she does, and her whole world is quaint coffee shops and muffins and roses and manicures. And highly successful novels.” And counselor Michele looks at me, head tilted, and waits. “I know, I know,” I’ll say. “Her life isn’t perfect and neither is she.”
I can Beth Davis myself to death, and when that happens, I have to stop and tell myself — again! — that people don’t put the ugly parts online. And despite the hair and the nails, the books and the coffee shops, Beth Davis doesn’t have it all figured out. She’s probably a whole lot like me, struggling to get the words on the page, even while she continues to show up as a half-decent wife, mother, daughter and friend. She’s just more social media-savvy than I am. (OK, and she has better hair too.)
I’m reminding myself of all this because we’re in the thick of holiday season and it’s so very easy to look at what everyone else is doing and think, “What am I missing? Why are we not as happy/well-rested/wealthy/relaxed/festive/savvy/joyful as everyone else around here?” It can seem like nearly everyone is taking lovely family portraits in coordinating outfits, hanging beautiful handmade wreaths on their doors and buying bigger and better gifts for loved ones, while we’re running around with our hair on fire just trying to make it until school gets out, or until work ends, or until the holidays are over.
May it all be different for us this year, even if it means we have to hang a wreath from Hobby Lobby that cost $9.99 and sheds glitter, even if we fall laughably short of our daily word count goal, even if we have to skip the family portraits entirely. However things unfold for us this season, may we have real rest instead of rushing around trying to keep up with the Beth Davises of the world. May we be satisfied with less, so we can be more for those around us. And may we keep our blinders firmly in place so that what we have and do within our own little families is just right and just enough.
When I’m not writing about my family and our ordinary life, I write novels, go to the grocery store, and vacuum dog hair. You can find my books in stores, online, and locally at Little Professor Bookshop. Reach me by email at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks or Facebook ~LaurenKDentonAuthor.
