Lauren Denton Headline
A few weeks ago, I was shopping in a large children’s clothing store. I saw a young mother walk by, and hot on her heels were two very discontent children. I could tell the mom was in a hurry to pay for her items before the inevitable meltdown hit, but she didn’t make it. There in the middle of the store, the two little girls both started crying, thrashing and generally creating a huge scene. My first thought was, “I am so glad I only have one child right now, because I have no idea what to do with two kids who are melting down.” I watched this mother with rapt attention to see how she handled the situation.
After quietly (and unsuccessfully) asking the girls to stop yelling, she calmly walked them into a fitting room in the back of the store. Since the room only had a half door, I could still hear the goings on behind it. Instead of the pleading or yelling on her behalf that I expected, I heard her talking quietly and calmly to the girls. They were in the room for a full ten minutes, the amount of time it took them to calm down and stop crying.
The mother never raised her voice. She remained calm and steady the whole time. I don’t know what magic words she said, but I hoped some of her magic would float out to where I stood, transfixed by the circular racks. When she exited the fitting room with two contrite and almost smiling girls, I said to her, “You did a really good job.” At first, she looked at me like I was crazy, perhaps thinking I was kidding or making fun. I reiterated my point. “I’m pregnant with my second child, and when I heard yours starting to cry, I thought, ‘Oh what is that poor mother going to do?’ But you handled it perfectly. You did a great job.” She sighed and thanked me, and walked away with a smile.
There must be something to this maternal fear of not doing a good enough job, because for a while, there was a Johnson’s baby commercial on TV that brought me to tears each time I saw it. It showed tiny babies and their mothers in various sweet poses and caresses. At the end of the commercial, it said, “Mom, you’re doing a great job.” The thought of my own daughter one day turning to me and saying those words never fails to make me teary—both from the sweet sentiment she’d be sharing with me and the deep down fear of whether or not that sentiment is actually true.
Mothering (and parenting in general) is a hard job, one that requires 100 percent of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energies, not to mention healthy doses of creativity, patience and self control. This Mother’s Day, there are countless things you could say to the mothers around you, but perhaps what would mean the most are the simple words, “You’re doing a great job.” For our own mothers and other mothers who blazed the trail before us, I’d imagine that hearing us tell them they did a great job would quicken their step and bring a smile to their face as well, no matter how old their kids are.
Happy Mother’s Day, and let me be the first to tell you—YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB!
Lauren can be reached at LaurenKDenton@ gmail.com.
