Lauren Denton Headline
A little over four years ago, I started writing down what we did each day. Nothing too detailed, just a line or two noting both significant happenings (Sela slept through the night!) and insignificant ones (exercise class, Publix, cleaned the house).
These days, I think they’re called “bullet journals,” but I didn’t know anything about that when I started. I just grabbed a stack of index cards and started writing. Now I live in fear of that stack of 365 index cards falling over, but I do have an incredible recording of the happenings of each year.
As 2016 comes to a close, and I flip back through this year’s lines on each card, I realize I’ve learned some important things:
1. I’ve learned it’s often easier to give a quick, thoughtless answer or to let my anger and frustration get the best of me, especially at the end of the day. It’s always harder (and better) to take a breath and act or react in kindness. Kids are always watching, and as we all know, they learn so much more by what we do than by what we say. Kindness often generates more kindness.
2. I’ve learned that as my big girl, Kate, gets older, there are days when she doesn’t want to hold my hand walking in to school. And it’s OK. A teeny piece of my heart may shrivel just a little, but I’m totally cool.
I’ve also learned that just as quickly as she can pull her hand away, if she needs a little bit of encouragement or if something makes her feel the smallest bit insecure, I’ll feel that hand slip back into mine. That’s cool, too.
3. I’ve learned there’s something to those adult coloring books and fancy markers and colored pencils. Quite a de-stressor, I must say. I found myself gravitating toward them during the presidential debates and was pleased to find that listening to all the debating, arguing and eye-poking was infinitely less stressful when coloring in flowers and leaves and swirly curlicues.
4. I’ve learned new ways to disguise healthy foods. One night, in an attempt to get Kate and Sela to eat all their vegetables, I dusted them — very lightly, mind you—with colored sprinkles. I used so few that the sugar count most likely didn’t go up at all, but just the sight of those little colorful balls of fun on top of their broccoli and cauliflower made the veggies disappear like magic. Side note: Call grape tomatoes Santa Sweets, and they’ll disappear just as quickly.
5. I’ve learned school is good for sisterhood. With both girls out of school and home with me every day, this past summer was hard on my patience. I often planned an activity in the morning — pool, friends, crafts — but by the afternoon, their bickering got the best of me, and I resorted to TV more than I care to admit.
But now, with both of them in school every day, they’re actually excited to see each other in the afternoons; the TV doesn’t come on nearly as often, and they play beautifully. Well, maybe about 80 percent of the time. The other 20 percent can still wear me out, but overall, school is a good remedy for sibling rivalry. At least for now.
6. I’ve learned that achieving a dream (signing a book contract) is exciting, but also stressful. All of a sudden, I know for sure that people will be reading my book (which at this point feels like my third child), forming an opinion about it and about me as an author, and quite possibly giving the book a rating on Amazon or Goodreads. That’s scary stuff! Exciting, yes, but scary, for sure.
I’m taking steps to counteract that stress — more walking outside when the weather is nice, possibly some deep breathing when necessary, and pulling out those sophisticated coloring books and fancy markers.
Many more lessons are contained on those index cards, and as we move forward into the next year, I’ll have to keep looking back to remember what we’ve overcome, what we’ve learned and what we can do differently next time. So much of life — marriage, parenthood, friendship — is trial and error. While it’s almost guaranteed that more trials will come, I hope there are also many more “insignificant” days, because often, it’s a blessing just to have an ordinary day.
I’d love to connect! You can email me at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website, LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks, on Twitter @LaurenKDenton, or on Facebook. My first novel, “The Hideaway,” releases April 11, 2017, and is available for pre-order from Amazon.
