Thinking like a man

A quote by missionary Jim Elliot floats around the Internet from time to time: “Wherever you are, be all there.” I saw it the other day, and it was a good reminder to try to focus on the matter at hand rather than thinking about all the other things I should be doing or that I need to do later. In this respect, I think men have an advantage over women. 

A Sunday comic strip said it best when it showed a picture of a waffle next to a plate of spaghetti with the caption: “Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti.” Men can compartmentalize different areas of their lives so that when they are busy with one compartment, the others remain totally separate and don’t fight for brain space. On the other hand, women are like spaghetti — all our needs, wants, to-do lists and “do not forgets” are tangled up in one big knot. Thinking about one single thing for any length of time without other thoughts intruding can be nearly impossible!

My sweet husband, Matt, can come home to a house strewn with toys, put his keys down, and begin playing hide and seek with the girls. He’s not oblivious to the condition of the house or the state of the dinner in the works in the kitchen, but this is his time with the girls and that’s what he focuses on. After dinner, he can turn some music on, clean the kitchen top to bottom, and not be bothered by the pleas of, “I’m still hungry” or “Sela took my toy!” It’s his time to clean, and that’s what he focuses on.

I am not complaining about this. In fact, I’m a little jealous of his ability to be so single-minded. I often wish I could focus solely on the one thing at hand, be it playing with the girls, sitting in church or reading a book. Instead, my mind tends to drift to how much writing I need to get done the next morning, what needs to go on my grocery list or the fact that my car is 3,000 miles overdue for an oil change. 

Recently, I even forgot whether or not I took a shower. Imagine that — the shower is virtually the one time the entire day when I’m completely alone, and later that night, I couldn’t even remember if I’d taken one! Turns out I had, but my mind was so occupied with other thoughts, I didn’t even take the time to enjoy those minutes of alone time. 

I need to take Jim Elliot’s words to heart and be fully present in whatever I’m doing because you never know when God is going to show you something amazing, even in the mundane activities of the day. When I have a few minutes alone, I’ll try to sit and put my feet up instead of scurrying to unload the dishwasher while thinking about loading the washing machine. When I’m putting a puzzle together or pushing the girls on the swings, the grocery list can wait. While my brain might not reorganize itself into convenient little compartments, maybe I can at least enjoy my hot showers again.

Lauren can be reached at LaurenKDenton@gmail.com. You can also find her tweeting writerly things on Twitter @LaurenKDenton.