Ordinary Days

“When you play music, it’s usually just boys singing. Why can’t we listen to girl music?” 

Kate asked me this question one afternoon in the car while our family’s favorite songwriter, Josh Ritter, pumped from the stereo. I’m quite proud of the fact that Kate and Sela love a lot of the music Matt and I play for them, and while we listen to both male and female singers, her question made me realize much of the music we listen to is sung by men. No real reason, that’s just how it happens to work out. 

“OK, let me find something for you,” I told her. I scrolled through Amazon Music on my phone to find something good. I’d seen Kate boogie during our after-dinner dance parties (you know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever driven by our house after dinner and seen two kids and a silly daddy grooving in the den) so I wanted to find something upbeat and fun. But as I searched, I mentally ran through the lyrics in my head and nixed almost every song I came across. 

Granted, Kate and Sela are only seven and four and shouldn’t be listening to much of what’s hot in the pop music world right now anyway. But when I got home and looked through the songs again, I realized I’d want to cover my daughters’ ears even if they were years older. Most had only one subject: guys. Getting them to look, to want, to touch. Dancing and shaking this and that. 

Our favorite dance party songs — “All About That Bass” (got that boom boom that all the boys chase). Ariana Grande (she got a booty like a Cadillac). No thanks. And Ke$ha (I’m feeling pathetic, I can’t take rejection, why won’t you call me?). Nope. Not exactly the type of healthy relationship I want my kids to emulate in the future. 

Of course, this line of thinking sent my mind into a tailspin of concerns about what my daughters — and children in general — take in on a daily basis, even at such young ages. I figure the least I can do is try to fill their ears with music that applauds girls doing more than just succeeding at getting a boy to notice them. So I made it my mission to find songs by female singers that I could play for them and not worry about sending messages of sex, lust and questionable body image.

What did I find? A lot of good music from a wide variety of musicians: Sara Bareilles (everybody’s been stared down by the enemy…I just want to see you be brave), Kelly Clarkson (what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger), Katy Perry (I know, I know, many of her lyrics aren’t PG, but you can’t go wrong with “You held me down but I got up, already brushing off the dust...I am a champion and you’re going to hear me roar”). Rachel Platten (This is my fight song…my power’s turned on, starting right now I’ll be strong, I don’t really care if no one else believes). And Taylor Swift’s ultimate Ode to Mean Girls (I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold, but the cycle ends right now, cause you can’t lead me down that road…someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me, but all you’re ever gonna be is mean). 

I realize that dictating my daughters’ musical choices won’t protect them from everything. In one way or another, they’ll still hear it all, no matter what music they listen to, because it comes from everywhere. But we do what we can, don’t we?

If this is one small way I can push back the world and its influence in their life while they’re young, then sign me up. I’m sure I’ll catch grief from them about it at some point, but one day — probably when they have their own children — I think they’ll understand.

I’d love to connect! Yowu can email me at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks, on Twitter @LaurenKDenton, or on Facebook. My first novel, THE HIDEAWAY, releases April 11, 2017, and is available for pre-order from Amazon.