Ordinary Days: Still learning to go with the flow

By the time this paper hits mailboxes, I’ll hopefully be home with a new baby girl.

With another child comes a whole new set of trials, joys, frustrations and lessons to learn. It never ceases to amaze me what I can learn in just one morning spent with my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Kate, and I’m certain the lessons will just keep coming with baby #2.

On a recent rainy morning, I decided to put Kate in the car and head out to run a few errands. I still had a lot of baby-related things to accomplish, so I needed to make the most of my time as much as possible. Kate is usually a good sport when it comes to running errands with me, and that day was no exception—it was me who wasn’t the good sport.

I had felt the pregnancy-induced frustrations creeping up on me before the clock had even hit 8 a.m., so I took a few minutes before we left to say a silent prayer: “Lord, help me reflect you in the way I behave with Kate today.” Notice I didn’t say anything about the way she would act—I was praying solely for my reactions to her normal, everyday toddler behavior. “Lord, just help me act like the adult.” Sometimes, that simple task is harder than it should be.

In less than an hour, all my good intentions had dissolved due to my inability to go with the flow. In the grand scheme of things, she did pretty darn good for being toted to Buy Buy Baby, HomeGoods and Publix all in one morning. I should have praised her more when we got home. Instead, we had a battle of wills over whether or not she’d use the potty before naptime. That battle ended with her in tears and me wanting to wring my own neck for trying so hard to make everything perfect.

At my core, I like things to be in order, to work out the way I want them to, and I tend to break down a bit when things get out of my control. Since having Kate, I understand even more that nothing is really in my control, and that going with the flow has to be the rule of the day. If it’s not, I end up asking my child for forgiveness, as I did just before she fell asleep that afternoon after a morning spent with a crazy mama.

I finally settled her in bed, pulled her special blanket up to her chin and tucked her two stuffed animals under her arm. As I pushed her hair out of her eyes, I said, “Kate, I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier. Will you forgive me?” Without

hesitation, she nodded her sweet little head and said, “Yes,” reminding me how quick our Father is to forgive us when we need it. Only, instead of me teaching Kate about God’s forgiveness through my actions, this little two year old reminded me of it by her innocent love for her mama.

Poor Kate has had to bear the brunt of my learning curve over these two and a half years, but she’s handled it with all the grace a toddler can and has turned out beautifully so far. Here’s hoping and praying that when this second daughter comes and the whirlwind begins anew, the things I’ve learned with Kate will help me be more flexible and less controlling when things don’t go exactly as I plan.

Lauren can be reached at LaurenKDenton@gmail.com.