Ordinary Days: Weak and weary

A few nights ago after Matt and I struggled for close to two hours to get baby Sela to sleep, we woke not much later to a crying and distressed toddler. Kate pulled every trick in the book before going back to sleep—I need lotion, I need food, I need water, I need two books. When I finally left her room, I heard Sela crying to nurse. I leaned against her crib and thought, “Lord, I’m so tired. I can’t do this.”

Then I remembered a quote I’d heard recently: “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” In that dark hour of the night, I thought surely I couldn’t make it through the night that was shaping up to be a long one. So I told myself, “I can do this. I’m a mama—it’s my job.” I’m not so self-absorbed to think that I have it bad. I know when compared to others’ struggles, sleepless nights are a piece of cake. I have friends and family members who’ve dealt with cancer and other diseases, infertility, the death of a parent or child. Maybe they thought, “Lord, I cannot do this”—but they did.

Or the thing you think you cannot do may be simpler and less life-altering. Maybe it’s a fear that keeps you from taking steps toward some big dream you have. You say, “That dream just isn’t for me—it won’t happen.” But maybe pushing yourself to do the thing that scares you will instead send you in a new direction where you can thrive and even benefit other people.

But pushing yourself on your own is hard. Doing the thing you think you can’t do using your own strength and power may even be almost impossible—such as when staring down a scary disease or losing someone you love. The only way to walk those roads and do those hard things when you’re at your lowest is if someone else provides the means.

Isaiah says, “God gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” At 3 a.m. with little sleep in me and two kids awake, I am weary and weak. If I’m faced with the prospect of speaking in front of a group of people, even a small one, my knees quake and my palms sweat—a definite weakness. People dealing with issues like multiple sclerosis or infertility feel weak and weary at times might say, “Lord, I just can’t do it anymore.” But Jesus says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So when I feel most weak, most unable to do what I need to do, somehow that’s when God’s power is most manifest in my life. Somehow, I am able to do what I think I can’t do.

I need to remind myself of these truths often—when Matt has a late night at work and I have a crying baby and a toddler in the bath who wants water balloons. When I have what seems like 800 things to do in about a half hour before naptime ends. When God presents me with an opportunity to serve Him, but it’s in a way that terrifies me. If He’s strongest and most powerful when we’re at our weakest, then feeling weak and weary is okay—as long as we call on Him to provide the strength and power we need to get through one more long night, one more doctor visit, one more “No” spoken when we really want to hear a “Yes.” God promises to not only show up, but to come pouring out power and strength when we need it most.

Lauren can be reached at LaurenKDenton@gmail.com.