Ordinary Days: Our children and the internet

There’s a pledge floating around Facebook called “Wait Until 8th.” Maybe you’ve seen it. The idea is that parents pledge to not give their children a smartphone until they’re in eighth grade. 

Not only that, they tell other parents at their children’s schools about it in the hopes that those parents will make the same pledge, with the idea that if we’re all on board, our kids won’t be “the only one” without a smartphone, and they’ll all be able to enjoy childhood a little longer. 

It’s easy and tempting to think that by jumping on board with that, maybe setting some filters on our home computers and iPads, and generally trying to keep the bad stuff out, then our kids are protected. 

Matt and I recently attended a conference from a Birmingham-based ministry called “My Secure Family”, which helps equip parents as we deal with the continually changing digital landscape that our children will be a part of, whether we want them to or not. 

To say our eyes were opened to the gravity of the situation would be an understatement. Aside from the obvious dangers of social media addictions, cyber bullying and secret chat rooms, the pornography industry is astounding. And it is smart — it doesn’t wait for our children find it on their own, but it actively seeks out ways to lure them in. I knew there was evil in the world preying on children, but I just didn’t quite realize the extent of it.

To be honest, part of me was dreading attending the conference. I imagined walking out of it feeling so weighed down by the knowledge of all this yuck that I’d just be overwhelmed to the point of inactivity. Thankfully, that’s not what happened. 

After learning about what the digital world pipes into our homes, we were given helpful tools to use, solid ways to talk to our girls about hard topics and the encouragement that we can wade through this with our children and help point them to a different worldview than what the culture all around us teaches.

They also emphasized the truth that we, as parents, are not in control of how our children turn out. This truth has been kind of revolutionary for me. It doesn’t mean we can shirk our parental responsibility to guide and shepherd and nurture and correct our children, but it means the outcome of our efforts is not on our shoulders. 

Through this, I think finally understand and welcome that easy yoke and light burden I’ve always heard about. I do all I can do for my children to protect and guide and teach them, but the burden of the outcome is not on me, it’s on Jesus as the true shepherd and protector of my children’s hearts.

So I will probably sign that “Wait Until 8th” pledge (and I hope you will, too!). We will have parameters in place for the internet and our children and whoever comes over to our house. We will talk to our kids in age-appropriate ways about their bodies, the internet and sexuality. We will ask other parents hard questions before our children play at their houses. We will step into that messiness because our children (and yours, too) are worth any discomfort or awkwardness.

When I feel like freaking out over a question or a word or a situation, I’ll try to remember to take a deep breath, answer the question or address the situation calmly and honestly, and know that in doing so, I’m fighting back against a culture that wants nothing more than to lure my children down a path that ultimately leads to pain and confusion. I want so much more for them.

You can reach me by email me at lauren@laurenkdenton.com, visit my website, laurenkdenton.com or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks, Twitter @LaurenKDenton or Facebook. My debut novel, “The Hideaway,” is available wherever books are sold. My second novel, “Hurricane Season,” will be released April 3.