Ordinary Days By Lauren Denton: Try, try again

It’s been almost a year since I finished writing my last novel, and for the last several months I’ve felt a little like Indiana Jones standing at the edge of that big canyon, my toes curling over the edge, hoping and praying for the invisible bridge to jump up and wave at me and tell me how to get across the gap.

OK, maybe that’s a little dramatic. Bottom line is, I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to try again. I could go on and on about my fears and anxieties and voices whispering to me that maybe I won’t be able to do it again, but instead I’ll tell you about two recent situations that spoke directly to my nervousness and paralyzed courage. One involved my 12-year-old daughter Kate, and the other was Coach Taylor on “Friday Night Lights.”

I’ll start with Kate. On a recent trip to the beach, we took the kids tubing up and down Old River.

On this particular trip, Kate rode in the tube with her 7-year-old cousin, Pearce. Pearce fit snugly down into the hole in the tube, but Kate’s long legs didn’t quite fit as well. She tucked herself in as much as she could, but her knees still stuck up near her face. We rode them around, happy as could be, until two boats crisscrossed in front of us. When we went over the combined wake, Kate and Pearce bopped around like popcorn, and before long they were giving us the “Stop” signals. It wasn’t until Kate was back in the boat that I realized she was hurt. When she finally pulled her hands away from her face, I saw she had busted her lip on her knee and one side of her forehead was already turning pink with a coming bruise. Needless to say, she stayed out of the tube for the rest of the day.

The next day though? She was the first one in the tube. She was ready to get back on the horse. Maybe it’s that she was still young enough to not think through all that could go wrong (reopening that lip wound, further bruising her poor head, hurting herself worse), but her pushing ahead and forgetting what was past taught her mama a lot. As much as I’d like to think of myself as hardworking and dedicated and courageous, the truth is, when things don’t turn out well, I like to dust my feet off and move on. I’m not the kind of person who keeps trying a complicated recipe until I get it just right. I’ll even give up on a crossword puzzle if it’s too hard. (I don’t give up on the Wordle though). And the books. When I’ve scraped my well clean and put my whole self and all my abilities into a story, it’s very easy to think, “Well, I can’t do that again. It’s just too hard.”

But watching Kate jump back in that tube with the slightly puffy lip and a hint of pink bruise on her forehead, I thought, “Huh. Look at her, trying again.” It was hard, and she was still sore but faced with the choice of a) avoiding the possibility of more hurt or b) giving it another shot, she chose to try.

And here’s where “Friday Night Lights” fits in. Soon after Kate’s mishap on the tube, I rewatched an episode (don’t judge) where star quarterback Vince is talking to Coach Taylor. Vince was frustrated, feeling like everyone was expecting him to be better than he could be. Coach reminded him he didn’t ask Vince to be better—he just told him he needed to strive to be better. “You have to try. That’s what character is. It’s in the trying.” Leave it to Coach Taylor to talk to a 17-year-old kid on a TV show and make an impact on a 43-year-old writer in the real world.

I don’t know if I’d have the courage to take a step off the side of a great big canyon like Indiana Jones with no bridge in sight. I’m 99% sure I won’t be spending any more time in a tube pulled behind a boat, and no one’s expecting me to be a star football player. But I know in my own way, in my own life, I need to have the courage to strive. To try again, even though success isn’t guaranteed. I may bust my lip and bruise my face. I may fall down as many times as I get up, but I have to keep getting up. And maybe when I take that first step, the invisible bridge will actually be there to carry me across the gap.

When I’m not writing about my family and our various shenanigans, I write novels and go to the grocery store. You can reach me by email at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks or Facebook ~LaurenKDentonAuthor.