Ordinary Days By Lauren Denton: Reclaiming reading and rest

I don’t have many soapboxes. Generally, the only one I’ll stand up on (at least in a public manner) is the beast that is the internet, and specifically as it applies to our kids. Of course, every child, every family, every situation is different, but I’d wager that most people can see what being constantly attached to phones is doing to our kids. My oldest doesn’t have her own phone, but she uses mine, and if I were to let her have free rein, I know exactly how much time she’d be on it.

But it’s not just our kids. I won’t go so far as to speak to what the constant connection is doing to adults in general, but I see countless ways it’s affecting me: the pressure to be abundantly competent in everything from cooking to decorating to athleisure wear to capturing the perfect photo for Christmas cards. Constantly being aware of what our family vacations could look like if I were a little more creative, a little more adventurous, a little savvier. House envy as I see Pinterest photos of perfectly curated homes full of the trendiest décor.

But perhaps the most frustrating effect the constant pull of the internet has had on me is in my attention span. As a writer, reading is a big part of my life and always has been. My dad will tell you I’ve been reading since the age of four, and though I have my doubts about that, I was definitely a reading child. I loved Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume and the Babysitters Club. No matter where I went — visiting family, out to dinner, to the beach or to the pool — I had a book with me. And I could happily and easily read for hours.

As I got older, through high school and into college, reading remained a steadfast pleasure. I remember one particular summer in college when I lived in my family’s condo at the beach while I worked at a local restaurant. Most of my shifts were at night, which left my days mostly wide open. How did I fill them? I parked myself by the pool or on the beach with a book in hand. After college, once Matt and I were married and in the years before we had kids, days at the beach were spent reading. I’d easily finish a small handful of books over the course of a vacation.

Now, at the ripe age of 43, I’m embarrassed to admit reading makes me tired. I still read for pleasure, and I still love it, but it literally makes my eyes weary and my brain fuzzy. I blame the internet. Over the past ten years or so, my brain has become more and more adept at kicking back and not having to work all that hard as I absorb the hundreds of tiny, inconsequential things that flash across the screen of my phone. It takes little to no brain power to scroll through a Facebook feed, absorbing the photos, disagreements, and memes. Even less brain power to watch the silly videos of funny animals, stupid criminals, or home renovation disasters. Zero brain power to flip through photos showing celebrities aging over the last few decades (which is what Instagram is intent on aiming at me these days). As I take in all these “bright dings of pseudo-pleasure,” as Cal Newport describes it, my brain is just happy to be along for the bright, flashing, dopamine-filled ride.

But the minute I sit down and open my current pleasure read, my brain turns to mush. Without the same stimulating images and dopamine hits — just black words on a white page — I can only get a handful of pages in before my eyelids grow heavy. Mind you, this is the same brain that used to be able to focus on one story for hours at a time, but now that the internet has rewired my brain, it’s hard to sustain my attention and even keep my interest in one place. And that’s a big blow to someone who loves stories, books, reading, and words.

Now that I’m past the biggest part of promoting my newest book, I’m determined to change the way I’m using the internet in the hopes of reclaiming my time and attention. Cal Newport, who I mentioned above, has a book called “Digital Minimalism.” I highly recommend it. I’m rereading it now and taking to heart what he has to say about choosing a focused life in a noisy world. I’m planning to pull back from social media and my internet use in general during the months surrounding the end-of-year holidays. It’ll be small steps, but small steps aren’t nothing — they’re movement. And my hope is that as I take these small steps to reclaim my time for reading and rest, my kids will see me doing it and understand that even adults can get in over our heads sometimes, and when that happens, it may be best to attempt to be more like a child — less digital connection, more freedom, more time for creativity and play.

When I’m not writing about my family and our various shenanigans, I write novels and go to the grocery store. My novels are found in stores, online, and locally at Little Professor Bookshop. You can reach me by email at Lauren@LaurenKDenton.com, visit my website LaurenKDenton.com, or find me on Instagram @LaurenKDentonBooks or Facebook ~LaurenKDentonAuthor.