Men who change diapers

I read an Internet headline recently that said “World-Changing Men Don’t Change Diapers.” The column, from Forbes.com, referred to TIME magazine’s list of the 100 most influential people in the world. In the bio for each person on the list, it pointed out that many of the women were mothers, but it didn’t mention whether any of the men on the list were fathers, although many of them were. The writer of the article said this omission is a discouragement to men who would like to change the world (or at least some small part of it) and change diapers at the same time. 

The article also pointed out that surveys continually show younger men trying hard to find “creative ways of blending work and family.” From what I’ve seen in our few short years as parents, I’m inclined to think that’s true. I remember the first birthday party I took Kate to once she started going to preschool. I’d expected it to be mostly moms and kids, but it turned out there were at least as many dads there as moms, if not more. Since that point, we try to go to parties as a family. We’re all there for the child’s birthday, but it’s also encouraging to see so many parents together sharing stories and giving and receiving encouragement. (And maybe there’s some football talk going on, too.) 

I also see dads taking kids to school, dads in the grocery store with a cart full of kids, dads at library story times. Some of them are there to give Mom time to rest or do something on her own, but some are there just because they want to be. Both Matt and I were blessed with wonderful fathers — we are confident in our dads’ love for us and for the family we’ve created. That said, I doubt either of them went to many birthday parties or story times when we were growing up. It just wasn’t done back then — dads had their roles and moms had theirs. Many people will argue that things are worse now than decades ago, and in many ways, they’re probably right. But the fact that so many fathers today are finding those “creative ways to blend work and family” makes me think some things do get better with time.

My husband Matt might not remember saying this, but early on in our dating relationship, he told me that he’d love to be a stay-at-home dad. He might not say that same thing now (especially considering how many diapers are involved!), but the point was clear — not only was having children important to him, but he wanted to be a hands-on dad. And he is. He exercises in the early mornings so he can be home at 5:00 to have time to play with the kids before bed. He can tell you the names of most of the My Little Pony characters and reads Skippyjon Jones in a variety of funny voices. He knows when to give Motrin and when to turn on the humidifier. He might not change the messiest of diapers, but we have a deal — I do those diapers, and he kills the roaches that occasionally dare to enter our house. Trust me, it works out well for both of us. He might or might not be changing the world at large, but I know he makes my world — and that of our two daughters — a much brighter place. 

Lauren can be reached at LaurenKDenton@gmail.com. You can also find her tweeting writerly things on Twitter @LaurenKDenton.