Kate’s Socks: A Lesson on Individuality

Young children are beautifully and blissfully unaware of what’s “cool” and what’s not. All children have at least a few years where they wear whatever they want (or whatever Mom dresses them in) without a care of what other kids are wearing or what the current popular clothing line is. 

Most preschoolers would go to school in their PJs or last year’s candy-flecked Halloween costume without a thought, while several years down the road, they might put more thought into whether it’s cool to wear your jammies or your Pooh costume to school. 

I’d heard that changes when kids start “big school,” but our Kate, now a kindergartener, is in some ways still at that beautiful pre-cool stage. 

You see, she has these socks. They are regular crew-cut socks, meant to come a couple of inches above the ankle, but for some reason, she pulls them all the way up. And by all the way up, I mean she stretches them almost to her knee so that the heel is halfway up the back of her leg. 

When I first saw her do it, I corrected her. “No, no, that’s not how you wear them. Look, let me show you.” But by the time we left the house to go to school, they were back up. The next day, I commented about them again, and she said, “I like them this way.”

This happened a couple other times before my husband, Matt, said, “It doesn’t really matter, does it? Let her wear them like that.”

He was right, of course. It didn’t matter how she wore them — she was wearing them how she liked them. I realized with embarrassment that I was trying to keep her from being “uncool,” as if there are sock monitors in kindergarten who will tease her for pulling her socks up. 

They looked a little funny to me, and subconsciously, that fear of sticking out in a bad way or a leftover anxiety from younger days crept into my adult world and I stuck it on Kate. She just wanted something soft on her legs, but without realizing it, I came close to introducing her to the world of cool and uncool before she entered it herself. 

In coming years, navigating that world will be hard enough without having her mom putting her own struggles with appearance and “keeping up with everyone else” on her back.

So do you think I comment on her socks now? Absolutely not. 

Most mornings, she walks out our front door with those socks pulled way up high, and she will never hear another peep out of me about them or any other item of clothing she chooses to wear. (Wait, wait — within reason, I mean.) Kate is her own girl, and shame on me for trying to squash her own sense of what looks good with my own adult fears. 

We’re far (light-years, hopefully) away from any short shorts or revealing tops, so until then, my sweet Kate, wear those socks with pride. And thanks for teaching Mama a good lesson.

I’d love to connect! Email me at LaurenKDenton@gmail.com or find me on Twitter @LaurenKDenton.