Lauren Denton Headline
I recently lamented to a friend that I’d spent the weekend being annoyed by my kids.
Gasp!
Luckily, this was a good enough friend that she didn’t judge me or think I was a terrible mother. She knows and loves my kids, and knows that I love them fiercely. But my words were true — they’d annoyed the heck out of me all weekend! The bickering, the snatching toys, the whining, the constant demands. By the time I saw this friend at church on Sunday night, I was worn slap out.
With summer being a time of mostly constant togetherness for me and my two girls, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to enjoy this time together. How to cherish it, as everyone with older kids likes to remind moms with young kids. It’s not always going to be hugs and kisses, perfect sharing and polite manners, so how do we enjoy the good and not throw the towel in on the bad?
The writer Dani Shapiro is a hero to me. Her book, “Still Writing,” is jam-packed with wisdom for both writing and life. In one section, she writes of focusing on small things. When making breakfast for her son, for example, she focuses on cracking the eggs, buttering the toast. Small, ordinary things that are easy to miss when focused on daily worries and anxieties.
I was thinking of this when Kate and Sela were in the den coloring together the other day. I was making their lunches, and they were huddled under a blanket — together — and sharing the big basket of crayons. As I opened the bread and spread the peanut butter, I listened to them talk instead of letting my mind wander. They spoke quietly of what page they were going to color, what crayons they wanted to use. Sweet, sisterly words. Then, the inevitable happened.
“That was my crayon!”
“She’s not sharing the blanket!”
“No, I was here first!”
But this time, instead of letting myself be frustrated by the arguing, I simply waited. I listened and waited to see if they could work it out on their own. They didn’t, so I told them they could either figure out a way to share the blanket or I’d have to take it. They stared at each other for a second, then said, “We’ll share.” Within seconds, they were both back under the blanket and coloring happily.
Parenting covers so many points on the emotional spectrum - from frustration, anger, and boredom to a joy so sweet it can bring tears.
Focusing on small things and quiet words won’t solve any big problems, but for me, it’s a way to remember that life is made up of these small moments and ordinary blessings. In waiting for big, perfect moments, we may miss the small, the beautiful, the divine.
I’d love to connect! Email me at LaurenKDenton@gmail.com, find me on Twitter @LaurenKDenton, on Facebook or visit my new website, LaurenKDenton.com.
